I would rather be a failure at something I love to do than a success at something I hate.
George Burns
I rarely visit my home country. Maybe once a year or even less. The reason being, the people I am surrounded by (mostly non-travelers) often try to bring me down and discourage me to travel by saying:
“You are already 24. It’s time to start a family. Time passes by and you don’t get any younger”. – C’mon people, 24 isn’t that old! I prefer to be a happy 50-year-old single woman with beautiful travel memories rather than a miserable young wife and unfulfilled mother.
“Everyone around you is getting married or pregnant and you just… travel”. – I can still get their lives, but they can’t have mine. I bet they would love to swap with me sometimes.
“You must be feeling so lonely there. Poor girl!” – There is no time to be lonely. You are surrounded by warm and friendly people who are sometimes like a family to you!
It sucks when your family and friends don’t get your travel spirit. It hurts even more when they don’t even support you and seem to be against you and your travel passion. I am still wondering if it’s a simple jealousy or something else hidden behind it – dissatisfaction with their own lives and the lack of fulfilment in their existence.
“You’re the lucky one. Being on a holiday all the time must feel awesome” they say. What they don’t know is that I’m not on a holiday. Part-time blogging and traveling combined with working full-time as a foreign teacher is a hard job, often exhausting. I have plenty of responsibilities to fulfil and that keeps me busy all the time.
When I go home I often get asked many questions regarding my live and travels in Asia, some of them are just way too funny or silly.
“Is that true that Asian boys have small penises?” (this question rocks!)
Most of people I meet when being in Poland want to talk money – how much I spend, how much I earn, how beneficial blogging is. I don’t mind it at all and I totally understand it. However, I easily get frustrated when they start asking if I am saving money for my retirement or how I am going to get financially ready for the future if I keep “wasting my money on pleasures”, etc. What they probably don’t know is that I spend less on my weekly travels than they spend on cocktails and drinks on Friday and Saturday nights.
The longer you live and travel in Asia, the less common topics you have with your European friends. It’s hard to speak the same language again. At least I find it challenging. While I am talking about how amazing it felt to be watching the sunset over Koh Phangan Island in Thailand, they are thinking of what dress they should wear tonight. When I am telling them stories of how amazing it was to live like a local in Siem Reap (Cambodia) and explore the temples of Angkor Wat, they tell me how they struggled to get a C for their exams. We are still the same, but so different.
I often wonder if we, world explorers and adventure hunters, will be ever understood by 9-to-5 job people. Why is it so difficult for them to get us? Because they never felt the way we did. They never left their comfort zones and got lost. Never carried their backpacks, never talked to a stranger…
Therefore, I’m so glad to be a traveler and blogger, and stay connected with fellow travel writers. Being a part of the travel community gives me such a strength to carry on traveling. Knowing that there are more people like me out there who aren’t afraid of exploring the world and sharing their memories with others , keeps me going and makes me the happiest person ever!
Travelers vs. Non-Travelers – Will We Ever Understand Each Other?
127 thoughts on “Travelers vs. Non-Travelers – Will We Ever Understand Each Other?”
I love this post Agness – so many great and true points. I’m a traveller but also a “normal” working girl and try to handle both “careers” as good as possible. As I have invested so many hours of my young life into my Master Degree, I’m not ready yet to give it all up for being a digital nomad. However, I think you’re doing the exact right thing and I love your way of life!
Thank you Anita. You don’t need to give up on your career to be happy and travel. Looking at you have been doing, I am certainly sure you can manage to combine working with travelling and this is the reason why I’ve been admiring your passion and ambition so much! Keep up being awesome and good luck with your uni!
Dan and I get this all the time. I think especially because we’re already married, people just don’t understand why we wouldn’t want to settle down and decorate a house and start having kids, because we’re so lucky to be able to start so young! I tend to think they just have our best interests in mind and just don’t understand the travel bug yet. So true what you said about spending less on our travels than a lot of people back home spend on weekend cocktails! But like you said, it’s not about conforming to how other people think you should be living your life-good for you for doing more than most people ever dream of!
True, so people just don’t understand the bug yet. Once they try it, they would never stop, I’m so sure about it :). Thank you so much for sharing x
Loved this post, Agness! It’s so true that many society people don’t know how to perceive those of us who travel on a normal basis… who strive to make it our lives. Being back in Western society, it’s something I struggle with and a big part of it isn’t only people I know, but the mass consciousness of my environment. People throw money around like it’s nothing and on futile pleasures. They chastise those who don’t tip 20% because you waiter/waitress is working hard at a job they at least get minimum wage for. They’re wasteful with printing on paper or using many plastic bags for groceries. I just see so much excess. Travel has totally readjusted my life and priorities to spend for necessary and practical things, value the simple but essential.
Story of my life Christine… So happy to hear there are people like me out there… :). I always struggle with that being back home so let’s share the pain together… :)
I just turned 27 and started freaking out a little about being this age and single, then I look at people who are married with kids and realize that, at least right now, I want nothing to do with that. It looks so boring! I’m just not ready to stop being selfish.
My favorite quote that I think definitely applies here: “‘Everyone needs to find their path in life … there are many influences that can pull you one way or the other, there will always be someone that tells you that you are too young, or too old, or too inexperienced, but you have to follow your instincts.”
Great quote Kristin! I’m 24 and I started worrying about being single as well. Sometimes I feel like I need someone by my side and then I go to another country, have a nice glass of red wine, go sightseeing, meet amazing people and think “Am I really to settle down!? Hell NO!” :)
Keep on doing what you love doing Agness despite of what other people say :-) Safe travels!
Cheers mate, I will ALWAYS! You also enjoy your travels.
I can definitely relate to your experiences! Some people back home never understood why I chose to leave the UK instead of focusing on career. There’s an attitude among my parents’ friends that I’ll regret not settling down early and saving for a pension (yeah right?!) and some of my friends seem resentful that I left. Fortunately my family is super supportive. But I guess it goes both ways. They don’t understand my love of travel; I don’t understand how anyone can be happy being in the same place and doing/seeing the same things every day. What is comes down to is different things make different people happy. I always respect their choices, whether I understand them or not, and lucky (most) people back home respect mine too.
Just keep doing what makes you happy girl, regardless of what people say!
Hi Charlie. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing. I’m so happy your family’s so supportive. I agree with everything you are saying. People don’t get the way you live and you can’t understand how their lives can be so boring. I have the same feeling. The daily routine would just kill me :). I do carry on travelling as this is what I love and what makes me a happy girl! :):)
And here I was…thinking Europeans completely supported the long holiday, nomadic lifestyle! Silly American:-) I applaud you for doing what you love, and you’ll meet people along your journey that admire and support what you do! xx
LOL, thanks Jess. I do always meet people along my adventures that admire and support what I am doing and it’s a great feeling when I chat with them and travel :).
I think times are different now. More people do part time work or work from home jobs in comparison to 9 to 5 the previous generations are used to. So perhaps they can’t fully grasp the idea of working in an Asian country and traveling around the world. They could be genuinely concerned about you but lack of understanding of what’s happening in other parts of the world must make them feel at a lost. What I learned from traveling is, you start seeing the world in a whole new perspective. Wish non-travelers can at least give it a thought sometimes.
I agree Salika. Times are different now and people do struggle to fully grasp the idea of working in an Asian country and travelling around the world. We should just do our thing without looking at those who have no idea how it feels to be a world explorer :).
Totally agree, but we should all understand how each other want to live – if we all lived life the same it would be really boring! The grass is always greener on the other side, for people on both arguments. I miss things from home but it’s worth it to do what I do. I’m sure if people who complain that our jobs are easy as travellers and if they actually did them they might not find them so easy…!
Exactly Sarah. I am so glad to meet you in person because I know how similar we are and how we love to explore this world. So true with the grass:).
I think we can if we stop thinking of ourselves as travelers and non travelers. Everyone travels in their own way.
Both travelers and non travelers made a choice. Yours (and mine) was to travel the world. Theirs was to live the life they are living. Even if they haven’t made a conscious choice they still made that choice. Their way of life is not better or worse than ours, just different. And there will always be a gap when talking to them about the things you experience because their world is a lot smaller than yours, but that doesn’t mean they are in any way unhappy or jealous. Maybe a few are but not all. Some people just don’t feel the need to do what we do and there is nothing wrong with that.
I understand that it gets super annoying when people constantly ask those questions, maybe it has to do with Polish culture? Most people in Holland think it’s really great what we are doing. The only that keeps asking if I’m thinking about my retirement is my mum!
HI Agness, this is really an interesting subject. I think it belongs to universal issue of non-conformist vs. conformist. Travelers fall in the non-conformist category. They have their own minds, they do what will make them grow and happy regardless of the dictate of their culture and society. People on the other side may not understand you, but then that’s their problem. Kudos for you for being non-conformist.
Thanks a lot. True, that’s their problem. So happy you get me! :)
Oh heavens! Keep traveling! Please! My husband and I married young and had kids young. And while I wouldn’t trade my life with him or my great kids for anything, I wish we had traveled more before we had had those great kids. Also, I have read over and over again about how money can make a person happy, it’s what you spend it on that makes you happy. That big screen TV? Maybe a couple of weeks. That great vacation? That can keep you happy for years. Traveling is like a drug I think. The more you see, the more you realize how big the world is and how much more you NEED to see! Happy travels friends!
True, that’s why I want to travel now when I am still young and have no kids, although I am planning to take my kids with me in the future so they can explore the world as I am now. Travelling is so addictive, I agree. The more you see, they more you want to explore and nobody and nothing can stop you. I will do my best to travel as long as I can :). Thanks for those kinds words Kelly!
I get those questions all the time, especially the ones about settling down at some point and not getting any younger (I wish I was 24 like you :) ).
I know people that don’t understand my choice & way of living and others that think that what I’m doing is fantastic. I guess there will never be the perfect balance, people with different priorities in life won’t ever fully understand our choices.
Just keep doing what you feel! :)
That is true. It is so hard to please everyone nowadays :(. So true, that is why we need to follow our dreams without caring what others say. Right? :)
Agness, I love every word of this post! Though we are very fortunate to have the support of our family, there are many that do not understand our choices. I also think it is fair to use this same comparison with non-conformists vs. conformists like another commenter mentioned. I think there is a big misunderstanding that we are just on vacation all the time, but really we have just made an intentional choice to live a specific way and it happens to involve moving around a lot. I think it is wonderful that some people want to live the more traditional 9-5 lifestyle and raise a family, but I don’t believe that everyone who is doing so has chosen that path, but let it happen to them and not made an deliberate choice at all. (And then judge us ;) )
Yeah, that’s a huge misunderstanding especially when you are a travel blogger. There are plenty of things we need to deal with on a regular basis. It’s not only about chilling out on the beach, it’s about caring, sharing our experiences and interacting with other travellers. I sometimes can’t handle it so Cez helps me out. We should all do what we love the most and stop judging each other! Thank you so much for sharing x
Great post, Agness! You’ve really been able to sum up the difference between the different mindsets. We hear so often, “When are you going to settle down?” and “Don’t you think it’s time to get a real job?” (I am in my early 40s and my partner is in his mid 30s, so for us SOME of the pressure is wearing off as people have started to give up asking! ;)) It’s also hard to listen to those who seem to almost accuse travelers as being on a permanent vacation. That’s so far from the truth. Traveling long-term is actually a lot of work, as you know. Being able to maintain travel as a lifestyle requires a great deal of sacrifice actually. However, it’s also true that we as travelers should take care not to judge those who have chosen a more traditional path. There are many who find their joy staying in one spot (as hard for us to understand as it is for them to understand us). Keep on doing what you do. Build those memories. Learn from those experiences. Live without regrets. Safe travels to you!!
I bet it’s more difficult when you are in your 30s and 40s. Although I am much younger than you, I can feel a huge pressure already. Wondering what’s gonna happen in 10 years :). As for blogging and travelling, it is a lot of work, especially when you blog professionally. What I mean professionally is to do it daily, keep in touch with other travellers, using social media and sharing photos/travel tips with others. It’s a hard job and only travel bloggers can understand it.Thank you for sharing and you also travel safely! :-). Sending my love from sunny Macau.
Fabulous post Agness.
We all face life choices and you’ve embraced yours. You are happy, learning everyday and developing a fully rounded character. The people from your home are lost in the day to day trivia which now pales into insignificance.
I hope that your family and friends learn to be happy that you are happy. As we say “they don’t get it” but hopefully one day they will.
And 24 is most definitely young for this day and age. I’m 40 and I’ve just got married.
Thank you so much. I hope they will get me and my travel bug soon :).
Happy to have stumbled across your site!
I do not think non-travelers will ever understand us. After all, you cannot really get somebody if you have never walked in their shoes. And…not a lot of people in this world would want to walk in my shoes anyways.
I walk – hitchhike – a heck of a lot of miles on a given day :)
Anyways, happy and safe travels to you, fellow wanderer. May our roads cross sometime…somewhere :)
Hi there. Thanks a lot for the comment. So great to keep in touch. I agree with you that you cannot really get somebody if you have never walked in their shoes :). Hope to meet you on the road! You also have enjoy your travels :).
I can relate to this post so much. I experience those annoying questions a lot from my community. Here in my country most people think that a woman’s duty is get married, having children and taking care her family. Thus they don’t understand why I haven’t married yet. I’m 33 yo by they way, you’re 24 and still young. Just ignore those people. It is you to decide what’s the best for your life :)
Yep, true. That is what other people told me to do – just ignore those who have never been bitten by a travel bug. You do well and never stop blogging no matter how old you are! Love every single post on your website. By the way, 33 is still young :).
Hello Agnes,
What a great post! I agree with Kelly S exactly. You can have a family and kids later, and when you do you will have much more to offer them. My husband and I chose not to have children and have been married 20 years. Eventually the questions stop – people finally get it that we decided not to have children. However, I have many friends who simply do not understand the NEED to travel. I love what you said about why they don’t get it: “They never left their comfort zones and got lost. Never carried their backpacks, never talked to a stranger…” Thankfully I can say we have talked to strangers in The Grenadines, Punta Cana, Paris, Nice, Eze, Milos, Santorini, Nafplion, Athens, as well as all throughout the US. It is a feeling of learning about another person or culture. I think it will always be travelers vs. non-travelers. As Mark Twain said, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” You go girl!
Well written!!!! I completely agree. After my study abroad experience many years ago, we were taught that we could go into reverse culture shock because people just do not understand. I am from a small town. My family thinks it is nice, but they just do not understand. Also, some of my friends may think I am bragging, but in reality, I am following my passion as they follow theirs. Unfortunately for me, I do have a full time job and then travel as much as my vacation allows me. My sister has told me to stop telling her when I book a trip because she just doesn’t care anymore (it might be a jealous thing).
Thanks, I’m so happy someone can relate to it:). Keep travelling and don’t care what others say!! ;-)