I would rather be a failure at something I love to do than a success at something I hate.
George Burns
I rarely visit my home country. Maybe once a year or even less. The reason being, the people I am surrounded by (mostly non-travelers) often try to bring me down and discourage me to travel by saying:
“You are already 24. It’s time to start a family. Time passes by and you don’t get any younger”. – C’mon people, 24 isn’t that old! I prefer to be a happy 50-year-old single woman with beautiful travel memories rather than a miserable young wife and unfulfilled mother.
“Everyone around you is getting married or pregnant and you just… travel”. – I can still get their lives, but they can’t have mine. I bet they would love to swap with me sometimes.
“You must be feeling so lonely there. Poor girl!” – There is no time to be lonely. You are surrounded by warm and friendly people who are sometimes like a family to you!
It sucks when your family and friends don’t get your travel spirit. It hurts even more when they don’t even support you and seem to be against you and your travel passion. I am still wondering if it’s a simple jealousy or something else hidden behind it – dissatisfaction with their own lives and the lack of fulfilment in their existence.
“You’re the lucky one. Being on a holiday all the time must feel awesome” they say. What they don’t know is that I’m not on a holiday. Part-time blogging and traveling combined with working full-time as a foreign teacher is a hard job, often exhausting. I have plenty of responsibilities to fulfil and that keeps me busy all the time.
When I go home I often get asked many questions regarding my live and travels in Asia, some of them are just way too funny or silly.
“Is that true that Asian boys have small penises?” (this question rocks!)
Most of people I meet when being in Poland want to talk money – how much I spend, how much I earn, how beneficial blogging is. I don’t mind it at all and I totally understand it. However, I easily get frustrated when they start asking if I am saving money for my retirement or how I am going to get financially ready for the future if I keep “wasting my money on pleasures”, etc. What they probably don’t know is that I spend less on my weekly travels than they spend on cocktails and drinks on Friday and Saturday nights.
The longer you live and travel in Asia, the less common topics you have with your European friends. It’s hard to speak the same language again. At least I find it challenging. While I am talking about how amazing it felt to be watching the sunset over Koh Phangan Island in Thailand, they are thinking of what dress they should wear tonight. When I am telling them stories of how amazing it was to live like a local in Siem Reap (Cambodia) and explore the temples of Angkor Wat, they tell me how they struggled to get a C for their exams. We are still the same, but so different.
I often wonder if we, world explorers and adventure hunters, will be ever understood by 9-to-5 job people. Why is it so difficult for them to get us? Because they never felt the way we did. They never left their comfort zones and got lost. Never carried their backpacks, never talked to a stranger…
Therefore, I’m so glad to be a traveler and blogger, and stay connected with fellow travel writers. Being a part of the travel community gives me such a strength to carry on traveling. Knowing that there are more people like me out there who aren’t afraid of exploring the world and sharing their memories with others , keeps me going and makes me the happiest person ever!
Travelers vs. Non-Travelers – Will We Ever Understand Each Other?
127 thoughts on “Travelers vs. Non-Travelers – Will We Ever Understand Each Other?”
I run into this ALL the time. I strive to understand the decision to buy a house, and have kids that a lot of my friends make, but it doesn’t ever feel like they try to understand my life decisions. Very frustrating. Anytime I am faced with someone who seems angry at me for how I am living my life I simply say “You do you, and I’ll do me.” It rarely makes them feel better, but it gives me a certain peace :) Keep exploring!
https://www.theadventuresofmrandmrs.com/
Hi Ms. Agness thank you for sharing this. We can’t please everyone. Life is a voyage in time. Travel changes you.
Hah, they are telling you that at 24 yrs old – try getting to the mature age of 35 and still keep moving around! Then again, I travel with my wife so at least I have one thing in my life that is stable – homes, jobs and countries change but my life partners stays by my side, wherever that may be :)
Excllent & useful blog. But I’m surprised no one else cared to mention this: the whole Asian penis thing is a racist stereotype that is prevalent in North America, and apparently Europe. Racism, regardless of which racal group it affects, doesn’t “rock” and is generally not funny. Just saying
Probably not. Two completely different value systems. Does this need a solution, though? To expand on what others said about everyone being the same being boring, our personal differences are maybe the biggest source of pain, and of growth. We can sometimes grow more by realizing our fundamental differences from our nearest, and accessing these foreign perspectives, than by traveling and seeing other cultures. Think of it as another kind of diversity, one that is rarely overtly visible in the full. It may also be possible that not everyone views, or experiences, travel as the catalyst to growth that people who get the travel lifestyle do. To others, constant travel may mean disarray, an unwelcome lack of structure, a scattering of resources, etc. They may experience growth better when they stay in place. Or ‘growth’ may be too vague and abstract a topic to believe. Or they may like the idea, but not as much as you do, much as you know there are dangers and adaptations to make within an uncertain lifestyle, but don’t give these considerations the weight that they do.
I wonder how you think of this now years after writing this article :)
Source: female solo backpacker from a family who’s not interested at all in traveling and have said they don’t get this lifestyle at all.
First of all, I think it is really great and inspiring that you have chosen to live a life that makes you happy and not worry about pleasing those around you. It takes a lot of courage to go out on your own instead of doing what everyone else chooses to do. That being said I would like to point out that I was once told that if I feel that I am not receiving support in my endeavors maybe I should think about whether or not I am supportive to others. If I feel people (i.e loved ones) are not interested in my life, maybe I should question whether I am taking an interest in theirs. After being told this, it made me think about how I interacted with certain family members or friends that I have felt slighted by in the past. There negative interactions with you are possibly motivated by “sour grapes” (or jealousy). However, it could also come from a feeling that you don’t think their achievements are as important as well. They may feel the same way you feel because they chose not to travel. Next time you talk to them, ask them about their lives and praise them for their achievements. You may find that over time they are more likely to return that praise to you for your achievements.
This was an excellent comment to read, Alexandra. Thanks for taking the time to comment!
How wrong I was with my 2014 comment Agness. We live and learn. Those who chose not to travel are always better off than us stupid ones that travelled – in happiness, in health and in experience they are always much wiser. We are idiots to think backpacking was in any way cool. It just wasn’t but we can’t change what we did for the peaceful happy life and that is the hardest test now. Stay at home kids – there’s nothing to see in this world. Safe travels, Jonny
Is this a sarcastic comment, Jonny? :)
Of course not. Backpacking and touring the world ultimately ruined my life through depression, despair and liars I met. The people who went to school with me and didn’t travel much, they ended up married, with kids, with cars, with flats and very happy with no blogs or idiotic social media posts from parts of Bolivia from people who thought that travel was cool. 4 years ago I thought travel was good, now I wish I did none of it. To quote Cold Chisel “I travelled round the world from year to year but each one left me aimless, one more year the worse for wear” :-(