Today, we would like to introduce you to The Guy- the author and creator of Flights And Frustration. He is going to share with us his opinion on Couchsurfing– the world’s largest social travel network, connecting a global community of travelers. We find this guest post extremely interesting and honest. The Guy has recently released his new book “A Brief Introduction To Airline Frequent Flyer Schemes And Which Ones You Should Join” which is available now on Kindle. Hope you will enjoy reading it and if you want to follow his travel adventure, find him on Twitter or read his blog.
All photos in the article have been provided by eTramping.com and their choice and order is random.
Couchsurfing is not for me
Couchsurfing is not for me. There I’ve said it can I sit down now? Shock, horror as I hear you gasp reading this. Who is this travel blogger who dismisses the very concept of couchsurfing? Well sorry to disappoint you. And no I am not saying people shouldn’t go couchsurfing, it is just that I don’t want to.
For those of you who don’t know me I’m a traveller. A very frequent traveller. Since May 2000 there has hardly been a month since when I haven’t got on a plane and flew off to some foreign land. In 1993 I went inter-railing around Europe for a month so I’ve experience of backpacking too.
I’ll be honest with you as well, I’ve never tried couchsurfing! That’s right, I’ve never tried it and nor am I keen to in the near future. So let me put this in context for you as to why I’m not keen, even though over 10 million couches were “surfed” in 2012.
People’s houses
The concept involves staying in people’s houses. Now that can be a good thing or a bad thing. On the plus side if it is an amazing house, with lots of room, a pool, a jacuzzi and spa treatments then yes I’m interested. But lets face it, you are relying on the luck of the draw here. You might be in a real pigsty of a place. A real hell hole. Dirty laundry lying everywhere, unwashed dishes clutter the sink. Razor blades at the bottom of the shower (yes I’ve seen it) and so on.
I’ve been there, done that. I was a student and loved my life as a student. I didn’t like it though when I was visiting friends and seeing the mess they and their house mates made. I could get lucky and stay with someone who has a beautiful home. Then again they may have OCD about cleanliness and if I so much as drop a crumb that could send them into the loony zone.
Bad habits
Couchsurfing sells itself with the phrase of “friends you haven’t met yet”. All very good, I might make some great friends. I truly believe in mixing with different cultures and it is the way to learn about them. However you risk being stuck overnight, or even worse many nights in a house/flat/bedsit with some complete delinquent.
They may be an alcoholic. Don’t get me wrong, I like a drink or two but I’m not a big drinker. If I go months without a drink I don’t even notice it. However what if my host is keen on a tipple. What if they can’t control themselves when they are drunk? Do they have a temper? Will they shout? Will they get angry or violent? Will they run down the street naked and upset the neighbors? Who knows, because with couchsurfing these are people I haven’t met yet.
Personality issues
Not only is there the potential for drug or alcohol problems, what about personal issues when couchsurfing? What if you just don’t get on Maybe they are creepy, really dull and boring? Maybe they are these people who just talk and talk and talk. People who talk and talk are not a bad thing; unless they are boring. Imagine being stuck couchsurfing with a host who tires you out because you have to listen to them all the time. No time to send that text, call a loved one or check your e-mails. No time because your couchsurfing host just won’t shut up! Either that or they may have bi-polar disorder.
Couchsurfing or sex-surfing
Readers of Etramping will be familiar with Agness’ excellent and some what controversial article on Couchsurfing or Sexsurfing. She shared her experiences of how she noticed some people use (abuse) the great concept of couchsurfing to get laid. Then, if you read the responses in the comments section of the article you actually see people admit to it. It goes on. You are left asking “Is couchsurfing safe?”
Now Agness is a beautiful, blonde, young Polish girl. Little wonder she gets advances. I am a middle aged old fart. Even still it doesn’t mean that the morals of the host may not be under question. I’m also recently married so my days of looking for a partner have now concluded.
You could take the supposed safe route and look to stay with people of the same sex or people in a couple already. I’m sure that in 99% of cases with couchsurfing this is all honest and fair. Yet what of a maybe 1% where things are not quite as they seem. Do I want to take that risk?
Privacy
How much privacy will you get with couchsurfing? I’m a relatively reserved Englishman. I’m not loud, brash or overly outgoing. I like company I’m comfortable with and I also like time alone. With couchsurfing will I get my own room so I can close the door and spend time alone? Will I feel really awkward and rude? Here are these very kind people offering me a place to stay, for free in their home. Yet I’m really tired, it was a very long flight. I’m also not feeling well and just want a rest. Is it rude of me to say goodnight so early to my couchsurfing host?
Or even worse, what if I don’t get my own room? What if I really am surfing on the sofa. I can’t sleep until everyone else leaves the room and goes to bed. What if my host or their flat mate wants to stay up all night? Maybe I’m in Thailand and they want to watch English Premier League at 3 o’clock in the morning? Maybe I’m in Australia and they want to watch an NFL match live on TV?
Overstays
Okay I’ve addressed some of the issues above. What if you mix them all together? Let’s say that you agreed to couchsurf with your host for three nights. Within an hour of arrival you both realise that you just don’t get on. You know what I mean. There is a tension brewing under the surface where you are each thinking “You’re a freak” or “I hate you”.Truth is you just want to get out of there. Can you? You agreed to stay the 3 nights. Maybe I’m missing reading the signals? Is it rude of me to leave? Where should I go? I haven’t booked anything.
Couchsurfing is not for comfort
So you are going couchsurfing, great. What do you think of the couch? If it is a brand new sofa bed then you’ve done well, luxury in the making. But let’s say it is a 15 year old, all springs broken, flea infested cesspit of a piece of cloth. To make it worse it is only a two seater so you can’t even lie flat. You have to curl up into the fetal position. I’d rather have a decent bed thank you very much.
Misleading Reviews
Whilst I was aware of couchsurfing for a long time, the article from Agness really perked my interest. I read a lot of comments and reviews from fellow surfers. The theme that came out is that not all reviews are honest or reliable. Sometimes people admit to having a bad experience, or even a sexsurfing encounter and then leave no comment. Or maybe they say the experience was fine. It is a two way street with the host and the surfer commenting on each other. Dare they be honest and risk an ungrateful negative review from the other person in return. This is even if they are the victim in the bad couchsurfing experience.
So what are the positives of couchsurfing?
It is only fair that I acknowledge the good things about couchsurfing. Firstly it is at my favourite all time price! Yes it is FREE. What a perfect way to make travel affordable and accessible to so many. I agree that this is a marvellous thing.
Also, as the motto goes it is a chance to meet “friends you haven’t met yet”. Couchsurfing is an amazing opportunity to meet and mingle with the locals of your destination. You can live like a local, taste their culture. You might get the best advice on what to do, what to see and at a fair price. It was only a few months ago that through a local I was able to see Mickey Mouse for free! Yes, I went to Disney World for free thanks to a kind local I met.
Okay, I know that many of you are backpackers and you just love the concept of couchsurfing, it opens doors for you. I think that is a great thing and I genuinely wish you well on your travels.
As for me, well I’ve done all the backpacking thing. It was amazing, I loved it and it got me into travel beyond familiar territory. I’m not young any more, as I write this I am 40. Hey hold on, 40 is the new 30 don’t you know? I’ve reached a point in life where I want some privacy, some downtime. I love meeting interesting people but I want choices. I am now used to staying in hotels. I even stayed in a hostel quite recently. I do still use hostels, very occasionally. I like my comforts and I travel, a lot. Admittedly most of it is with work so I’m grateful that I am given the comfort I need to rest and explore. When I travel for leisure I will always look for a hotel or a Bed & Breakfast to stay. I want my home comforts and I want to travel with my wife.
So couchsurfers, I wish you well. I credit you for what you do and the community which you’ve created. Maybe I’ll see you at couchsurfing “Event” so I can meet some of you fantastic travelers out there. That’s easy, if we don’t quite hit it off there’s no problem, just walk away, you don’t have to stay the night.
All in all I think couchsurfing is a very exciting concept, it is just not for me.
Is Couchsurfing for everyone? What’s your experience?
84 thoughts on “Why Couchsurfing Is NOT For Me”
My husband and I are thinking of doing some land travels through Europe next winter when we leave our boat in Turkey after sailing it over from the Caribbean. I did have an interest in couchsurfing, I’ve heard even the hostels there can get quite expensive, but I think I’ll definitely have to put more thought into it now. If we do, I think it solely would be staying with other couples, and hopefully that means they don’t live in shitholes and stay up until 3 am.
Hi Jessica, thanks for reading.
It can be a tough call at times if as you say hostels are expensive. I think with a lot of research and a clear idea of what you are looking for, there is a good chance you can find a good fit.
Since you are travelling as a couple then I think the idea of staying with other couples is a good one. Interacting as foursome sounds like fun and socially it can be much easier.
It would be interesting to hear of your experience once you complete your trip.
Different strokes for different folks, not everyone likes to travel the same way, which is wonderful, since we can share our different stories from different angles.
Couchsurfing SHOULD not be for the ones who want privacy. CS is for the ones who want to engage with the hosts, the local people and culture in a more intimate level. After all, hosts are not a free hotel.
I’m a CS host, I hosted a bunch of people last summer and will be hosting a few more this year. I’m extremely picky when it comes to my guests, I specially invite the ones who are not looking for privacy, but to interact with us at home and even travel together a bit. I had wonderful experiences and we’re all in touch till now. I have to say I’ve met the most amazing people through CS, and maybe that’s why I decided to become an ambassador and organize weekly dinners for all.
I find the meetings and get togethers a lot of fun and the best way to make friends, without having to host or being a surfer, since I only host in the summer.
Yes, there are creepy people out there, but the CS is just like the real world, good people, less good people, so we have to watch out for the vouched ones, with good references and a great profile.
Hi Yara, thanks for reading. You make some great points in your comments and I know from reading your blog you have a variety of travel experiences.
I think a happy medium for me is being able to interact with people and find a comfortable level with them. We all know that we can’t get on with absolutely everybody. So once you come across someone you immediately recognise has nothing in common with you, you need an opportunity to break from the awkwardness at a time which is right.
Hosting and the community it builds is a fabulous thing. We all have to find the level which is right for us. Everyone is different.
I haven’t tried Couchsurfing and hope that I will give it a try in the future, even though that would be well outside of my comfort zone.
I kind of think you shouldn’t knock it till you’ve tried it. I would rather here someone tell me why it is not for them, after they gave it a go.
I know a person who I would have thought was the last person to ever try Couchsurfing. She is pretty shy, doesn’t use FB, etc. But she loves Couchsurfing. She does her research, finds people she thinks are interesting. She is very choosy, and takes her time before plunging in. She seems to use it more to meet people than to go to a particular destination. After hearing her talk about it, it has made me think I should give it a try someday, too.
Hi Rachel,
Thanks for reading and commentating.
I understand why you say not to knock it until you try it. As I explained in the past I’ve had experiences similar in terms of accommodation arrangements with people I have met before. So they were already friends and people I wanted to be with. However I like to know what to expect before I travel. I’m also not as young as I used to be so have experience of what I like and grown accustomed to it.
Don’t get me wrong, couchsurfing is a fabulous concept and probably >95% of CS experiences are great ones.
It sounds like your friend has really benefited from the experience.
I’ve discussed with others their experiences so I have researched. Pretty much in the same way when you look at expedia or hotels.com you look at various accommodation options and see which one appeals to you. Some you will rule out quickly because you know they are just not for you. There isn’t the chance to try them all, so you choose what is best for you. Couchsurfing is the best option for many but not for all.
Thank you for sharing your article on Twitter! I completely understand your point of view for not being into CouchSurfing… & for those of you in the comments speaking about the what ifs that will never happen, well they do happen. They just happened to my friend & I in Oslo actually & it was very serious. Police were involved & it’s not something I would ever like to be involved in again. I’ve written the story on my blog, because I’d love for others to be aware! Yes, it can be a great form of travel, but bad things DO happen. If anything I encourage more people to be cautious. x
Hi Jacquie,
Thanks for reading and sharing your experiences. It sounds scary.
There are risks no matter where we go and what we do. I think if you go with (and can afford) professional establishments (hotels/hostels etc) then you are buying a higher level of security than staying with someone you’ve never met in person. There are no guarantees but the initial chance for more security is clear.
Hi there to the writer!
I am a host from CS and I just started using CS two months ago. And as of today, I have hosted and offered a couch to 13 people and more coming soon!
And I feel that it is a beautiful and wonderful experience. Personally, I feel that CS is safe on the host part. I have never surfed before but I will start surfing when I have the opportunity as I embark on my travels next month.
As a host, whenever I received couch requests from travellers, if the dates are alright with me, I will always accept the request. But I will let my guests know before they arrive, what to expect when staying in my house, for example I let them know I have two dogs at home and rooms might not be available to them (they have to sleep on the sofa or even on the floor sometimes). And most of them are ok with it. I don’t made any unnecessary requirement like “you have to be back home by midnight or set any curfew”. And a few hours before my guests arrived, I will always clean my house and keep things tidy. I feel that this is a basic respect to my guests who are coming to my place.
Basically, I just give them the freedom to do whatever they want, and most of my guests, they are very respectful and friendly.
And I feel that CS is wonderful in the way that you can share your life with your guests and in return they will open up to you and that is when the bond and friendship is forged. Culture exchange is amazing and CS is one good way to do that.
The other good thing about hosting is that your guests, most of the time, they will repay your kindness by offering you a couch in their home if you ever visited their home country and I feel that it is beautiful!
CS is all about keeping an open mind and be respectful and friendly to everyone. It does make the world a better place! But of course, safety is as important as that!
So stay safe & travel safe!
Hi Choo,
Many thanks for your detailed reply. You sound like the perfect host and it would be a pleasure to visit you.
Unfortunately when you read the many thousands of people’s experiences not every host is as considerate as yourself. Having said that, most hosts are which is why the CS concept has been such a success and of great value to so many.
People like you give Couchsurfing a good name and long may it continue.
I have only good things to say about couchsurfing, as I wrote about it here: https://www.lessonslearnedabroad.com/blog/2014/5/29/couch-surfing-why-it-is-better-than-hotels
While it is true that bad things CAN happen whilst couchsurfing, they can also happen ANYWHERE at ANY TIME. Most human beings are not criminals or perverts waiting to prey on the weak; that statistic is echoed in the myriad people of CS, as well. 99.9% of CS’ers are there to help people travel and to be helped by other like-minded individuals. Of course, an attractive individual may get advances…but that is likely to happen anywhere, from the bar to the museum to the bus.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my two cents. It is always a shame when a few bad apples spoil the bunch :(
I appreciate the counter-points, though. Thanks for writing!
Thanks for reading and your feedback Chris.
It is very true what you say, a few bad apples can ruin the cart. The vast majority of people are good, decent human beings and will make your interaction with them a very pleasant one.
Bad things can happen at anytime to anyone.
Hi,
I agree with all or almost all the points you’ve made, but there is one major flaw in your article: CS targets mostly people in their 20’s or early 30’s. Isn’t it just too weird to even consider couchsurfing when you’re 40 and married?
Jim
Hi Jim,
Thanks for reading and your comment.
Whilst I appreciate the point you are making there are many and I mean many frequent couchsurfers who will strongly argue against that. Even reading some of the comments above may highlight this.
I’ve heard of couchsurfers in their 50s, 60s and even 70s! I’d like to think it is more a lifestyle/travel choice than an age barrier.
BTW, have you had any experience of couchsurfing? If so, how did it go?
If you want Couch surfing experience, try to Hosting first..
And you’ll know couchsurfing is a bad ideas..
I host a lot people and all of them seeing couchsurfing is free.. Not about culture or some shit tradition.
Today I’ll stop hosting people, and I don’t want to try couchsurfing at people houses.
Sorry to hear that Fiki. It seems that you’ve had a lot of bad experiences.
hmm .. bad experience maybe.
I think I was wrong. couchsurfing is community, and there’s a lot of people there, a lot of good people. I just accidently pick the bad one :-) . I am sorry for blame couchsurfing community. I believe the real couchsurfer more kind,I just didn’t meet yet.:-)
Another good post. I have never been interesting in couch surfing for those reasons.
Hey there is absolutely nothing wrong with knowing your own standards and comfort level! I tried to do Couchsurfing once but the host was incredibly strict about everything so we left. It was our first experience so it probably ruined the idea for me forever but I’m happy with staying in a hostel or using Airbnb instead especially since I don’t see CS as just a “free night.” There is no right or wrong way to travel, everyone has their own preferences and that’s totally OK! I’m sure Couchsurfing has given many travelers wonderful experiences and memories but you don’t *have* to CS in order to have enriching local experiences. Thanks for sharing your thoughts The Guy!
first i would like to say i do not see how anyone can comment [good or bad ]about something they have never tried ,now i would never take part in game hunting for the fun of it as i would not want to kill a defenceless animal but i would not condem it as a bad thing as i know nothing about it.
I am 62 years old and have couchsurfed all my life [only on CS site for 3 years] but host and surf met lots of wonderful people an only 1 wanker and he would be a complete wanker whatever site you met him on
Read profiles mine will tell you i am ex army clean and tidy house ,no drugs or bad manners ,your own room for 2 or a couch in the lounge for 2 as well
My biggest worry when first on this site was that i was so much older than most of you others ,once i got over that i have hosted young female students and surfed with the same and never once a problem
As for Couchsurfing being free ,well it is not nor was the idea of it ever meant to be free ,although no cash is taken for your stay good manners will mean that you must give something back for the wonderful gesture that has been given to you ,a bed ,a meal ,a bath and a local who can and will tell you all the best places to go ,talk the language for you even take you there all with no charge
I have traveled a lot hitch hiking around Europe ,on a motor bike ,car and camper van ,sailed and flown ,slept in barns ,outside under the stars and B&B and hotels
yes i am older and like a bit of comfort now but my experience of surfing in other peoples home is that they are cleaner than hotels much friendlier and more helpful
I owned and ran a 10 bedroom guesthouse for 7 years and i can honestly tell you that the service you would get for free in my home now is 100 times better than any business will ever offer you ,Hotels have no interest in you other than your credit card ,your bed may be over 5 years old and had different people in it every night,the room is just wiped over very quickly ,
So i think you delude your self that the service and quality is better because you pay for it
I firmly believe you should try couchsurfing at least 5 times before you comment
and last of all you also stated that 99% may be fine but the 1 % means you will not take the risk ,well if you only work on those odds i am supprised that you have even left your house let alone travelled the world
Really great to hear from someone a little older who enjoys couch-surfing too. It’s true- just read the profiles and if you are worried about someone don’t stay there. There is usually loads of choice and if you only contact people you are genuinely interested in you will have a much better time!
Tony, you’re awesome.
I’m glad to hear that, the part “hotel only care about your credit card” it so true. :-)
Dear Sir,
After your reading your article, I’ve come to the conclusion that you totally don’t understand the idea of Couchsurfing. I’ve been many years a regular host and surfer. It’s true that all the negative reasons you have mentions happens and most of them are true. But have you already noticed how much you emphasize the FREE point of view. Especially this part of your article that really worries me:
QUOTE:
Yes it is FREE. What a perfect way to make travel affordable and accessible to so many. I agree that this is a marvellous thing.
Also, as the motto goes it is a chance to meet “friends you haven’t met yet”. Couchsurfing is an amazing opportunity to meet and mingle with the locals of your destination. You can live like a local, taste their culture. You might get the best advice on what to do, what to see and at a fair price. It was only a few months ago that through a local I was able to see Mickey Mouse for free! Yes, I went to Disney World for free thanks to a kind local I met.
/end QUOTE
I’m getting the idea that your point of view is travelling as cheap as possible. No matter whoe the host is, just TAKE TAKE TAKE whatever he provides: room, bed, food, drinks, experience, time, guidance, free rides, etc. It’s ok to TAKE, but WHOOOOOOOO a small gesture like a souvenir, cooking a dinner or even a drink for him/her…nooooo that COST way too much!!! NO WAY!..you have to travel as cheap as possible! I think you have an idea where I’m getting to ;)
So Í have to remind you that’s not the website Couchsurfing who’s deciding it’s FREE. It’s community of international hosts. They do it for to know different people and EXCHANGE of cultures! You’re gonna SAVE a lot of MONEY when a couchsurfer is hosting you. A small gesture is the least thing you can do. Because too many so-called couchsurfers think it’s totally good for FREELOADING that’s what making the host society less and less.
I needed to say this, because in the last couple of years I see more often this kind of couchsurfers :(. It’s making me almost quitting Couchsurfing.
Cheers,
Kawang
Hi Kawang,
Many thanks for your feedback. Where did I say it was not okay to show appreciation to your host by not cooking them dinner or giving them a gift of appreciation?
I would be more than happy to, in fact I think it is good manners to bring a gift to your host. Not to do so is disrespectful.
Please re-read the article. Couchsurfing is not for me because I like to be able to have my own space, comfort and privacy at my choosing.
I fully support the concept of Couchsurfing for those who choose to take part in it. I have given my reasons to explain why I choose to find a different type of lodging. I’m sorry that my view differs to yours but that is the freedom of thought and choice.
I wish you safe travels.
Hi Agness,
I hope life is still good and you are enjoying the free time.
Is there any chance I could request an update to the link of my Twitter profile at the top of the article please? It is currently posting to my old Twitter profile whereas I’m now tweeting as @TheGuyWhoFlies
Many thanks. – Oh, you can delete this comment afterwards :-)
Hi! Yes, of course. I have already changed that :).
Thank you :-)
As always you are a STAR!
You’re welcome! You’re my hero!
Have been in and out couchsurfing for about 10 year , where I lived in 4 different big cities. Hosted few but never surfed ( well im a guy and rarely anyone is hosting guys) I found most of the surfers are cheap cunts who are there just because they don’t want to spend any money. The only good thing about couchsurfing that many of the girls i have hosted are open to get laid, also i met some nice guys in the group meetings which is also a good place to get laid!. But travel and local experience thing is just load of crap!